Weary

Today I am mentally and physically exhausted. If I thought last November was busy, with the 4 events(one a week for four weeks), that was nothin’. I feel like I have been going non stop through November and now into December.

This is where I see the problems arose in my thinking and my relationship with food. If I can’t have sleep, let me eat. If I can’t take a break, give me that candy. I am overwhelmed, take me out to eat… These are my default thoughts. I don’t act on them. But if there is keto food around, I am more likely to eat that. Hungry or not.

But not all the time. I find myself doing it less and less. Like today, I don’t feel like eating, I am too bummed out. I imagine this is how normal eaters feel when they are down!

Today I feel so down in the dumps. Just about a lot of things. Mainly I am just weary and in need of a rest. I don’t see one on the horizon any time soon and I don’t know what to do about that.

I used to eat. I have said before that food was my answer to most questions. If I even had the energy to do anything to get overworked about. Daily life got me down back then. I always wanted a clean house and when someone came over I did a marathon cleaning session in an attempt to make my impossible high standard a reality. Never mind after I was done, I hadn’t established any daily routines. I was exhausted and after my company left, I rested and my house became unmanageable again.

This year for Thanksgiving I took some time daily to do some jobs I wanted done. I still have weird standards and want the impossible. I just have to be satisfied with good enough. At least I have daily routines that keep things in check.

Lately I have been watching my Flylady videos again. Sometimes I take time to stop studying and actually implement the changes in the midst of living. But I am revisiting them and learning all over again. This time at a new level. I finally understand how to tweak the system for ME.

I have all the hope in the world I can learn new things and apply to them to my life as well!

Because I am so tired of attempting perfection. It only leads to exhaustion.

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