Feelings…nothing more than feelings

Feelings have been on my mind a lot lately. I have pushed them down for so long. The less I do to avoid them, the more they come to the surface and come out of my mouth. Awkward and all.

The more I just observe without judgement the less I hide from my own self and the more I understand about my own actions.

I realize I am just plain afraid. Afraid of failing. Of starting. Of not getting a break.

My go to was to put pressure on myself. I am so weary of that. I am ready to face whatever it is.

I am ready to stop overeating keto foods. I am ready to stop looking for excuses to eat more or different things. I think in the beginning I did the best I could, but I am ready now to take it to the next level.

I am ready to deal with feeling the feelings I am trying to cover up with food. I am ready to make commitments to myself and keep them.

When I say”just forget it!” I realize now that is a cue that I am trying to gloss over something and not deal with it.

When I say “just get it!” in regards to eating or spending, that is also a cue that I am doing the wrong thing.

I am really trying to embrace that a feeling or a thought doesn’t have to become more than a passing feeling or thought.

I just gotta deal with it.

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