Party Planning Flylady Style

On Saturday my husband and I celebrated out 25th wedding anniversary, our Silver anniversary. When I was a child, it seemed to be a more common thing than it is now.

When I wrote last time about the Flylady Holiday Cruise, I mentioned that Flylady Diane always says you can use it to plan any holiday, party or event. So as I would look at the Holiday Cruise Control Journal everyday, I would also think about the Anniversary party everyday as well. And as it got closer, and there were more things that needed to be done, I could easily make a list. Not a frazzled last minute marathon get ready effort like I normally do.

Most of the time, I cannot picture what needs to be done until it is actually time to do it! But this time, since I made a point to think about it everyday, I guess that enabled me to envision all the details before it was actually time to start getting ready.

Not that it was completely stress free or anything, but this was the easiest, most organized thing I can ever recall putting together.

C.H.A.O.S(Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome)

C.H.A.O.S, or what Flylady calls Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome, has pretty much been a constant in my life. It is when your house is in such a state that you don’t want anyone to see it. Never mind that your self and the ones you love the most live in it, but that is a thought for another day.

Yesterday I realized that people would be coming over for Halloween. Normally, I clean like a banshee, a lot of stashing and dashing, flitting from one task, and then another…and then fall into an exhausted heap just as the doorbell rings.

Well, yesterday, I worked in increments and took breaks. Perfectionism did rise up, but I could actually see that I was making progress. I just decided to work on the important tasks first.

My husband commented that it sure looked nice, and my response was a scowl, but again, we will work on that another time.

Flying with Issues

Yesterday as I wrote out my Flylady plan, it felt so satisfying!

That positive feeling was a fleeting one.

As the day wore on, and I would work in 15 min increments- and was not experiencing immediate perfect, lasting results, I became increasingly discouraged.

I strive to remind myself that this is just the nature of the beast. “This” being depression, ad/hd, negative self talk. Just because I think this way, just because these feelings are the “go to” feelings, does not mean they are actually me. I have always said I have negative thoughts. But more recently, I have come to describe it as These thoughts attack me.

I heard a sermon once that exactly describes the nature of these thoughts: The devil will constantly bombard you to sin, to mess up, to just indulge, it will be fun, it will be no big deal. And then when you give in, he then constantly tells you what a big deal it was, how horrible it was, etc. The attacks never end.

When I heard that, I was so ASHAMED because I didn’t even need the devil, I was doing it to myself! So I resolve not to continue in that.

For one thing, I acknowledge that I am actually trying to help myself. All be it, in the wrong way! But my intentions are good. I tell myself it always feels wrong in the beginning. It always feels like the negative feeling will never end. And the positive feelings feel so very temporary! I tell myself to just watch and see. See if things don’t get better.

So what is MY flylady plan?

Although it is very tempting to just watch videos about cleaning, I actually have implemented my own version of a Flylady routine. It is a very fragile item and could disintegrate at any time, forcing me to go back to the drawing board, BUT I finally realize that this is LIFE and sometimes that happens, it is not the end of the world.

Sundays I try to change the sheets in the master bedroom to get a jump of the tasks of the Weekly Home Blessing So far that is the only one I have nailed down. I also try to do at least 15 min tidying downstairs (dishes, counter top, table area esp). It might take more than 15 minutes. If I just get started, and if I set the timer for 15 min so I don’t overwork myself, I find it to be a doable task.

Mondays we are out of the house for half the day to attend Homeschool Co-op classes for my daughter.

Tuesday is the day I have set up to do the bulk of the Weekly Home Blessing hour and any major cleaning tasks. That way I can focus on homeschooling and other tasks and not just obsess about cleaning.

Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, I simply aim to complete the morning and evening routines, do the 15 min in the current zone and possibly complete any home blessing tasks I haven’t completed.

Writing this all our seems nice and neat and complete, but honestly, change is hard and the results are not quick enough or perfect enough. It is a real disappointment sometimes that I have not figured it all out yet! But then I remind myself that I would never judge another person by this ridiculous standard.

I have mentioned before that Flylady Kat is a wonderful replacement for the critical voice in my head. She recommends when you see a task undone or piles of something, you say ” I see you… and I have a plan for you.” That has been invaluable as I build new habits.

Flylady Diane In Denmark

Diane in Denmark is another huge piece in my Flylady puzzle. Again, I do not remember how I originally came across her, but I am so glad I did! Daily I would watch A better life with Flylady Kat and follow-up by watching Diane in Denmark.

Flylady Diane, in my opinion, has a more “old school” (classic?)take on the Flylady system. She participates in the daily missions, and the Holiday Cruise, for example.

One day she remarked that zone work was only to be done after the daily routines were completed. This was a light bulb moment for me. Doing random zone work and not keeping up with the daily routines may seem like an sure-fire recipe for un-success to you, but it sure wasn’t to me. Sure, now that I think about it, it makes all the sense in the world, but it just wasn’t immediately obvious!

What I hope to eventually become is a my own personal version of Flylady, my own system. That is something I have realized watching youtube videos of people utilizing Flylady: they each adapt it to their own situation. If I can continue to let go of perfectionism, I can let go of finding the “perfect” system, and find one that is good enough.

Flylady Kat

I don’t recall how I originally found her, but I had heard of Flylady Kat from Kimmy from She’s in her Apron. Kimmy was not a perfect mom and homemaker. She was a hard working, lovable, person who was working to be more organized.

At one point, Flylady had a mentoring program where you could pay a Flylady Mentor to help you one on one. Flylady Kat was one of those mentors. She now had a Youtube channel with daily(7 days a week) instructions for the day based on the flylady system. I just jumped in and started watching the daily videos, Here is the link to the one from today, when I am writing this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BrKriOqims

Kat gives daily instructions for Stay at Home flybabies, or Kat’s L.I.O.N.S (she didn’t want us to be called kittens!) LIONS came to stand for Living In Our New Strength. She is firm but kind and her lovely voice is a nice replacement for the critical voice in my head. She even has a Patreon that is a reasonable $5 a month that I was a member of for several months. She answers comments and posts videos there Monday-Friday. If you want an extra boost, that is a great addition to watching her Youtube channel.

Several months went by and I was watching Flylady Kat everyday and on Youtube and even following her on Patreon. I was having a moderate amount of success. But every month I was re- decluttering the zones and not seeing the results I wanted. I knew I was disconnecting somewhere and could not figure out what was missing.

Then I came upon another Flylady Mentor who now vlogs on YouTube and I will talk about her next time.

I first heard of Flylady around about 1999. I love to plan and though I printed out everything they had to offer, I didn’t make a whole lot of progress.

A few years ago, after moving into our dream house, I discovered cleaning videos on Youtube. It was so satisfying watching someone make a room neat before my very eyes(often in high speed).

I stumbled across How Jen Does It . She was a homemaker who had a cleaning system based off of Flylady’s zones. It was exactly who I wished I was. Sparkling clean home, home cooked meals. And she worked out.

Well, watching videos like this did help me, but they didn’t really help me tap into my own natural style of organizing and homemaking. I was basically trying to become something I admired.

It wasn’t until I heard another YouTube Vlogger mention the Flylady System as taught by Flylady Kat. I didn’t know it, but that was going to be instrumental in helping me understand the whole Flylady system!